Wednesday, December 4, 2002

Super Un Par Jour

For as long as I can remember, there has always been a bottle of Quest Super-Once-A-Day Multi-Vitamins. I grew up with a vegetarian diet, so making sure I had all the right nutrients and such was important. One problem with these multi-vitamins, however, was the size.

I've heard it all: horse pill, rectal suppository, etc. And it's true -- it is quite a large pill. When I was a child, half of the pill was all I needed. Though half of something really large, is still pretty large. Those half-pills always went down with great difficulty, if they went down at all. My Mom tried various methods of getting these things down my hatch. Probably the most appealing was having the pill crushed up, and mixed with honey.

If you've never taken one of these pills before, I would imagine that the only deterrent you would have in your mind right now would be the size. Unfortunately, I'm about to tell you all about another aspect (if you will) regarding these multi-vitamins: the taste.

How bad could these little things actually taste, anyway? Pretty bad, I'm afraid. And by pretty bad, I mean worse than you can possibly imagine. Horrible. Disgusting. Detestable. Appalling. Offensive. Well, you get the idea. Just swallowing one of these pills leaves a putrid after-taste in your mouth. Though, I've been taking them long enough that it no longer bothers me. I cannot, however, imagine chewing one.

Why would I bring up chewing a multi-vitamin? The mere thought should make you want to vommit. Let's just say I know someone who can't swallow one because it's too big, but for some, unexplained reason can actually chew it. This person is none other than -- drum roll, please -- Mike!

I'll never understand how he can chew a multi-vitamin. The smell alone when he chews it is nearly unbearable. It smells up the entire room. Why, just the other day when Mike chewed one, Jamie noted that "it smells like vitamin." Though I'm not complaining, nor am I asking him to stop. You see, I've always found it funny when people smell or eat something really gross. Before I could talk, I had a toy lady-bug which was painted with some sort of strong-smelling paint. I got a real kick out of getting people to smell it, and then watching their reaction. The same goes when Mike chews one of these vitamins. I am literally in tears, and on more than one occassion, I have been left with the hiccups.